I was talking a friend of mine just now about putting yourself out there with love. She made a soul connection and wants desperately to reach out to him, but fears the rejection.
It got me thinking— there are so many things and little traumas in life that impact our thoughts and propel our fears that we just choose not to interact with them. And yet – with other things, we are entirely fearless.
This friend – she does fitness races. I’m TERRIFIED to do a fitness race. All of my overthinking and anxiety pops off:
What if I fail an obstacle?
What if I can’t finish?
What if I’m not good enough?
What if I finish last and suck?
Any or all of those things could happen, but they wouldn’t be a big deal. Only because I assigned an importance to them.
Let me step back even further.
About a year ago today I was injured at a new gym I had been at for 2 weeks. I was doing box squats and I KNEW that it was too much weight, but the trainer was positive I could handle it. The trainer, however, didn’t know I have scoliosis. So, I went down with the weight and didn’t get up with it, because there were 3 audible cracks and then came the excruciating pain.
I was positive I would never squat much weight on my back after that. Just the thought of putting it onto my shoulders gave me massive anxiety.
When I went to Planet Fitness and saw the Smith Machines, I thought… maybe I can do it. I don’t really know how long I’ve been going there, maybe 8 months or so?
Progressively I’ve put more weight on. I PRed 120lbs today, one rep. It’s the most I’ve put up since that day.
Back to my point (heh, I swear its there)… Why are we so ready to flex and build our regular muscles, but not our heart muscles?
Injuries happen all the time.
We don’t just say… I’m not gonna walk anymore. I’m not going to do that race anymore. I’m not going to run or hike or bike or ski or play professional sports or goddamn squat some weight.
WE DO IT.
To my friend – you already know my opinion. But I watch you fly so fearlessly into everything you do. Don’t let past traumas inhibit incredible potential futures.
Maybe thats spiritual resilience.
It’s looking fear in the face, knowing exactly where those traumas came from and allowing yourself to be a little vulnerable and scared in that moment for exponential growth – of your muscles, of your heart, of your soul.
That’s spiritual resilience. For sure.
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