I am… not entirely the most humble woman in the world.
Let’s just say, in some regards, i appreciate myself for every aspect of who i am. I know I’m attractive, intelligent, driven, witty, physically fit… i have a good bit to offer.
Some might call it arrogance, but i consider myself a bit of a package deal.
Someone asked me… on a scale of 1-10, where do you rate yourself?
And without a moments consideration, i said, “A 12.”
It’s just… true.
We all tip the scales in our own way, once we tap in to our light and our passions.
There’s a friend i know from running group that is incredibly passionate about building LEGO replica collectibles. A few of us went to WOB a few months ago and he talked across the table to me about his LEGO items. Super intricate Cinderella’s Castle and the Millennium Falcon and Hogwarts… really epic shit. He’s lighting up showing me photos, incredible proud. And I have to admit, I was incredibly impressed.
He may not be my 12, but that guy is a 12.
Every single person has a thing they light up for when they talk about it. It’s our light. That guy has an incredible, engineer-like brain that allows him to put together super tiny-detailed LEGO structures. And that’s just so incredibly interesting to me. I find the way people think and what they’re good at fascinating, especially when it’s the polar opposite of the way i think. Immediately i fall into a thought process… who are they? Why do they think like that? It’s why you’ll always find me asking everyone their personality type.
But where along the road in our lives do we stop thinking we’re the fucking shit?
That we’re every bit of enough and then some, to flip the charts?
Who says we have to stay inside their scale?
We’re afraid to shine. Afraid to meet our greatest potential.
Why? Because safe is fucking easy?
I gotta tell you a story.
This is gonna be a long one so just get a beverage and buckle in.
The other day i went out with a girlfriend for the first time in a long time. We went to a bar and all i could think was… I don’t wanna be here.
I can feel and read energy really well. Like, really well. On top of being an empath, so many years behind the bar studying the dynamics of different people and understanding what drives them and moods between people has been an obsessive sort of hobby of mine.
As we’re walking in i notice a couple at the bar.
The guy is suuuuper drunk. Kind of has a look of disregard on his face. He’s looking around the room. She looks hopeful. Her body language is open…
Ends up, my friend knows the guy.
He didn’t introduce us to his date, so I made sure to introduce myself and my friend to her. His body was turned entirely away from her.
So we’re talking, and they end up joining us at the table. Well. He joins us. The guy is pretty freakin drunk and he keeps ordering drinks, and i have to imagine i have some kinda look on my face.
I can’t remember the exact context, but shes sitting next to me and basically ends up suggesting they’re on a date.
And i look at him.
Guy is not even looking at her. He’s wasted. He is dressed like a bum. And smells like he hasn’t showered in two weeks. It is that offensive.
I dunno whose 12 he is, but i look and him and i look at her, and I’m just like… what…?
And she goes, “you know that book, ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’? I feel like that.”
And i go, “Girl. Who gives a fuck about that book. You can do so much better.”
And she looks at me and goes, “You think?”And i look at him and i take a sip of my tequila and water with lemon and i said, “Abso-fucking-lutely. Are you kidding?? Are you LOOKING?”
And she goes, “I really wanna leave.”
And i was like, “Fucking go!!”
And she’s like, “i can’t.”
And I’m like, “Why??”
And she just gestures.
And I’m like, “Girl. Go. Tell him you forgot you have to take your dog out.”
So she looks down at her phone, and she goes, “Oh, i have to go… my kid has been puking all night.”
And she gets up, gives him a half hug, and looks at me with an incredibly grateful smile on her face. And i winked at her and raised my drink to cheers her finding the courage to exit the situation.
The craziest part?
She came into the brewery the next day to thank me. I wasn’t there, but mind was blown.
From the outside the energetic equation was so clearly mismatched.
Why was she afraid?
To me, she was stunning. She had a lovely body and beautiful big light eyes and thick long curly hair.
To someone else, she’s a 12.
Tonight i opened up my messages and had a message from a girlfriend.
She needed the strength to make a really difficult decision in her love life.
She’s a fucking 15, this one. She’ll never even know the respect i have for her or how beautiful i think her soul is.
Why is it we don’t allow ourselves to see what we really are in the world? A bright beautiful light that meant to shine? We are 12’s. Fuck, we’re a million. INFINITY!
And yet we settle.
We settle for less.
We settle for less because our brains LOVE programs. They love to automate the shit out of our lives and never change a thing. It doesn’t require additional energy use. It doesn’t require additional processing. We hold ourselves back from everything we stand to be by settling for less.
My Akashic Reader told me that I’m here to do a few things, and one of them is bring the feminine energy back to power.
You are so much more than you see.
You are a 12.
You’re a 12 to me, everyone in your life that loves you, and everyone whose life you are meant to brighten by being the entire essence of you.
I need you to see that.
You need to know that. Because you have work to do in this world.
You’re worth it.
You’re incredible.
You’re a bright amazing light.
Don’t let it hold you back.
FUCKING DO IT.
Leap.
Go hard for everything you want.
It is yours if you go for it. I promise you.
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