What if the universe, God, whoever you believe in is orchestrating this most epic plot twist divine timing crazy amazing movie and you’re just at the middle still?
I am the WORST when i watch shows that are new. I have anxiety, so i sit there and ask questions no one can answer or i talk the ENTIRE time, trying to guess what’s gonna happen looking at Erik being like, “Why is that like that?” like he knows the answer to this brand new series we just started.
I am really good at predicting the end of shows. But every now and then one gets me. I’m good at predicting the ends because I’ve spent my life studying people and archetypes are predictable.
Life is this way. You find a pattern and you can predict what’s going to happen and this was my mechanism
For control in my life.
I am smart. I predict the end. I know what’s going to happen and i can make sure, because I’ve analyzed every single possible variable (hello, I’m a Virgo with an Asian mom that was a dragon lady, i see all the details) and i know quintessentially this is what is going to happen so you can’t tell me I’m wrong, because i have almost NEVER been wrong.
What if i told you that me, the one that ALWAYS knows what’s going to happen, what the story is, who is doing what to whom…What if i told you i had no fucking clue this entire time and here is my story unfolding more gloriously than i could ever imagine?
People coming into my life when i make good decisions to not be reactive and give me the encouragement and contacts i need.
What if you stop predicting the ending and just sit back and let things come to you that are coming.
Bro, i was on the WRONG trajectory last night. And around me i saw accidents all morning on the way back from Erik’s.
It was a sign – pay attention. I got rerouted.
My tech in my car was weird.
Something was at play.
The universe was timing everything for me.
I went with it.
I went with the flow of today and it was perfect, after trying to control everything yesterday.
The people i needed to see were around me.
The things i needed to see were there.
I was no longer on medication and here i am, finding things that trigger me and not triggering into reactivity. The universe showing me in REAL TIME – hey, you’re not crazy, after all. Something I should’ve been telling myself all along.
All day long, i stopped myself.
I paused. I paused because last night I should’ve paused before a conversation with Erik. I discovered that I wanted to be someone who pauses – for he and I to have something long-lasting and sustainable.
Today, though? I let my triggers come into my awareness and i did absolutely nothing. I saw what was happening and i didn’t touch the train wreck and because i didn’t the universe put everything i needed in front of me at the perfect time. Because I didn’t react I was able to experience what was supposed to come to me – had I not? Those people would’ve interacted with Christie and left.
Instead?
Someone to tell me a story about her business almost failing and not giving up.
Someone else who after believing in something for 7 years was approached by someone that over night gave him everything he needed.
Someone from my past that i wasn’t very nice to that i realized was living the same story i am living.
I cried.
I grew in 1 night more than some people might ever grow in their entire life and that’s not judgement it’s just what happened.
What if you don’t try to control the ending?
What happens then?
Fucking everything you ever wanted, as long as you’re willing to take the tests and keep growing.
It’s all happening for you.
All the fucked up shit in your life is bringing you closer than you ever realized to everything you have in your head and even better things you don’t have in your head.
Something happened tonight.
Nothing happened tonight.
Maybe i sound crazy, but stop guessing the ending.
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