I have an aloe plant that has been struggling essentially since a little after I got it. Some of the leaves turned pinkish brown, some of them developed dark spots and in general, the plant was looking a little rough.
When I moved, Kyle joked that I killed the hardiest plant in existence, and I responded, “Um. Excuse me. That plant is NOT dead yet.”
I don’t tend to like letting go of things. Maybe because I like to be good at everything – or maybe because I have abandonment issues from losing my father to suicide and my mom becoming less present emotionally in my life.
I am someone that holds on. I don’t like to admit defeat. I don’t like to be bad at anything. I do whatever it takes at all costs – sometimes to a fault.
I did it in my marriage – I held on as long as I possibly could, despite us both knowing for years that it was over. And even when I took action, part of me still held on for a bit, because I was scared of what was to come.
This aloe plant was a microcosm of that sometimes admirable, sometimes naive side of me that always wants to see the best possible outcome, but I also wasn’t giving this plant the time that needed to be dedicated to it to bring it back – so how could I expect it to thrive?
Since I’ve stopped watching TV and been trying to reduce the amount of time I spend on social media, I looked up how to save aloe plants.
The article stated that all dead, dying or diseased leaves and flower shoots must be removed, or the plant would continue to spend energy resources on those dying and diseased leaves and sap energy from regrowth and allowing the rest of the plant to thrive. It said to cut the dying and diseased parts of the plant away.
So I set about this morning, during the sunrise, cutting away the diseased and dying portions of the plant. There were a lot and the pot itself has many many aloe plants in it. Then I harvested the aloe sap from the dying and diseased leaves – the article also stated that the aloe inside was still perfectly good.
And as I harvested it, I realized that it’s a really good analogy for life.
Sometimes we hold so tightly to qualities within ourselves that are not serving us in our lives that it saps our energy and prevents us from growing. And it is only in removing those parts that we might redirect that energy and focus it on thriving and becoming the best “plant” that we can possibly be.
In harvesting those pieces of ourselves, the ones that we have to let go of in order to really excel, we can still take that “aloe” and use it. These parts can serve as lessons and as we pick through the pieces, we can use them heal and continue to grow.
It’s funny, the metaphorical lessons that pop up in every little thing when you look for them.
Cut away the dying leaves within yourself. Focus your energy on the qualities within that allow your light to shine and embody the person that you know you are without them. Do it all in the pursuit of your own growth.
It’s time to grow. What are you letting go of in order to do that?
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